Faded Roses
by Syriiak
Summary: Sometimes, the only thing we have is the most precious, dear things to our heart... and sometimes, those things get ripped away, faster than we can even imagine. Kroliade. Krory's POV, his thoughts on the whole KroryXEliade arc.


You entrapped me.

From that very first kiss, that very first look into your dark eyes, you had captured me and you knew it well. The moment your lips touched mine that very first night, I fell into your trap, only to become but a toy in your games. You knew I was but an innocent monster that needed someone to care for him; you gave me that care. I was only a thread wrapped around your finger from the moment I met you, the moment you kissed me. You comforted me; no longer was I a raging vampire, but a true person with feelings and a need for love as real as any other human being. That very instant that our lips met, I was head over heels in love with you, and you knew it.

You tricked me.

I was merely a pawn in your game that didn't have a purpose other than to suit you. I was your toy, your personal object. I was ignorant of this, of course, the entire time, but deep in my mind I suppose I knew something was wrong. You were always there, always ready with a kiss the moment my heart was spilling everywhere. Always, you were my comfort, my dreams, my love. I would rely on your comfort to get through life. You were the only thing holding me onto reality, though you didn't really care. Every moment of every day, you wore a fake smile and told me everything was all right, that we would live forever in my grandfather's castle. When you arrived, I finally had someone to care for me, someone to see me for who I really was. I was your own personal vampire doll that you used constantly to bend to your own wishes.

You taunted me.

You knew of course what your intoxicating smell would do to me, yet you never faltered from giving me your delightful kisses or holding me close. You had always been very physically close to me. Although you knew what the smell of your skin would turn me feral, you always stayed close. When I would back away from fear of killing you, you would merely approach as if nothing was wrong, and you'd linger close by, never more than a teardrop's length from me. And I loved you for it.

I loved you for all of it. Even though you didn't return the feeling, I knew that we would be happy together forever. Truly, that was all I needed in my life—love and happiness. And you at least feigned both. I would stay awake nights before you arrived, worried that my life would be as empty and desolate as the castle, but you changed that. Even if you were truly faking, you brought a feeling of happiness and love into my life that couldn't… cannot be replaced. From that very first kiss, you convinced me that I was more than the monster I saw myself as. I loved you.

You destroyed me.

You gave me the only reason I could find to live, and then with the blink of an eye, you tore it all away without a second thought. When you attacked me, I felt as if my world was turning upside down. My only reason for living was killing me on its own, and I could only go along with it. What was I supposed to do, my love? When you attempted to kill me, I was being ripped into tiny pieces. I was being forced into being the monster that you yourself had convinced me I was not. The only thing I cared for was killing me right before my eyes, not physically but mentally, emotionally. You may have tried to attack my physical body, but my heart was… _is_ the most damaged… I couldn't allow it to go on; we wouldn't ever have been the same. I knew you didn't love me then, but if I had allowed you to keep existing, you would only have hurt me eventually. In that split second, I had realized that you were only going to kill me if I let our relationship last. We were mortal enemies, sworn against each other. Eventually, one of us would be killed by the other; it was only a matter of time. And so…

…I murdered you.

With my own bare hands I destroyed the only thing I truly cared for in this cruel world. I killed you, the one thing I cherished and loved more than anything. I truly am a monster, a disgusting being that has no business being alive…

But, my love…

I have become an Exorcist. That way, your death will have some meaning; I have a true reason for murdering my love. I know you would be glad for me if you saw the progress I have been making. You would be proud of me. Perhaps this way, I can find people who do not see me as a vampire, but as a true person. Perhaps this way, I will not destroy the only thing dearest to my heart…

But I already have. I will never be able to heal this hole in my heart that you have left behind. Alas; it is not merely a hole in my heart, but a hole in my being, my soul. You had my heart, all of it, before I destroyed it by killing you.

Oh Eliade… how I miss you so…


End file.
